i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
What a dumb baby whore.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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