i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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