we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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