It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
where am i from again
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
