Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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