physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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