Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's just like the Real World with babies
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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