She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
