how can u be prego again
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
