Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
