as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
