This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
