I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
