this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
