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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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