I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
