piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
