She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
