you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
