Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
