you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
