i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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