How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
