I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
