Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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