Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize