thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
