The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
