I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
