hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
