i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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