I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
