Sponge bath it is.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
