Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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