marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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