I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
