My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
