ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
