I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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