recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
