I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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