I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
