We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
