Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
