I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
