I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
