3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
