So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
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It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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