WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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