Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
