It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
