Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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