Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
