Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
