I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
