I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
