Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
and she was petting her beer can
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
