I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
